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"Sarcasm is the body's natural reaction to stupidity"

Live by faith, fight with love, grow with grace.

Chris. 22. Chinese-Thai. AB+
Lives in Singapore/ Made in Bangkok/ Heart in Walt Disney World °o°
Typical Aries, is super analytical and talks too much.

I may be a little crazy, a little so weird and maybe even extra-ordinary. But i'm glad to have people who love me.

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

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We love the things we love for what they are.
posted: 2:20 PM
Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
― Robert Frost

One of my favourite poems ever since I was about 11? I miss literature so much...


I've gone too far...
posted: 1:35 PM

I wear my heart on my sleeve too much. My emotions are easily uncovered. Or just maybe 'you' know me more than I realised.

'I don't think u can change who u are, and u seem very uncomfortable with it.'

You get me more than I realised. I really want to be the classy, smartass girl I always was. Rather than the vulgar, irrational girl I am right now. I have no reason to throw tantrums besides wanting to get things done my way. I admit, I am way too impulsive with the things I do, the things I say. I've said things more than I should have. Then again, if I am so guarded with my heart how would I find love again?

I know I pissed you off by saying I don't believe in Love and the whole shebang. But I just lost faith. I've met way too many that broke my heart and me. I wholeheartedly wish I could let up these walls, let you in. But I just can't. Maybe its just fate that I missed out on dinner yesterday. But we still have a movie + dinner date/thing impending don't we? I'm not ready for something new, especially with someone that hasn't had the experience to handle a heart or a relationship to say the least. I need someone who really cares and wants to take care of me instead of me caring for them. I'm sick of taking care of other people (not that I mind.) But sometimes I tire of being so alone. I fear that I am just dragging you along into my drama and I think you're not ready for that. I wish there was someone better, prettier, smarter that was in love with you. I know I am not the right one. And I don't want to ruin things for you. I just don't want history to repeat itself. I don't want to get into a relationship just because I feel lonely. I am self centered enough as it it. You deserve better.

But at the end of the day, I just want you to know if you are willing to fight me for my heart. I am way willing to knock down these stupid walls. But for now, I am fighting against you. I just want to find out whether this would be worth it, whether you are in this for my heart or ... well the things the rest the guys are looking to me for. I'll confess you aren't the only one who are... interested I guess. But you are the one that I find worth it. Love is but a game isn't it? Right now, I'm playing defense. And we aren't the only players.

I'll miss you till I see you...


Bruised & Battered and it hurts.
posted: 10:56 PM
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Current condition of my heart: Empty.

Had a epiphany that C is what I can call my first love. What a joke. I met C before I met my first 'boyfriend' (Another story hahaha.) but he had a girlfriend then. But they broke up a few weeks later. I had a crush on C. And he had a crush on me then (Which I found out 2 years later.) and even asked me out. But it didn't happen and he thought I wasn't interested. Took the night transport home the other day, my heart ached when the bus past C's old house. All the feelings I set aside came rushing back. I miss talking to him. I am allowed to right? Stopped talking to him cos he was being jerk-y again. He asked me the other day... "How do you know when you love someone?" I didn't even know how to answer. I replied. "It depends... why?" I was hoping so bad for something good. "Oh, I think I like a girl." My heart fell. I guess I've moved past it - this whole 'relationship'? But I'm certainly not over C. As much as an asshole he was... He was my bestfriend. 

I certainly started 2012 with a bang... as a angsty emotional bitch. The night ended with me on the floor, screaming and crying. :( I'm really sorry to everyone who bore the brunt of it. What remains of the night are just bruises... physically and emotionally. I was such a wreck. I kept saying 'Leave me alone.' And I really meant it. I really was reeling from the sight of J. I really didn't understand why he had to show up then. Fine, ignore me for 3 weeks. Then decide to show up when my friends call you to say I'm drunk and looking for you? I asked his other friends, why he was ignoring me. Some said I was thinking too much, some said he was busy. If I meant enough as a friend he would at least tell me that he was busy right? Or even reply later? I just want to know what I did wrong. I just want my bestfriend back. I don't like to beg. But I asked, I asked whether you were angry, what I did wrong. You know I was looking for you. Why didn't you at least give me a proper answer? Then I thought, okay fuck it. When you are ready you'll talk to me again. But I think I need my bestfriend back. 

Seriously, mad love for everyone who was there trying very hard to take care of me despite the fact that I was being a bitch and stubborn as hell.