What happens when the one and only person you tend to rely on ignores you? Shuts you out?

For me. I crumble, I fall. Everyone knows me as strong, fierce and any other synonyms similar to that. But I am not. Honest to God, it's just a plain front I put on. I hate to let people get to know me. I hate to be vulnerable. Funny thing is, I have so many friends and I know them so well, but those who know me are really less than a handful. Seriously...

I'm grateful to have you in my life. Grateful that you were able to tolerate me for the past few years. I've always said that you are my pillar of strength and you know that. You've been there for me so often I can't count the number of favors that I owe you. But perhaps you're just sick of trying to get me out of trouble, sick of all the drama I bring.

I lost and gained so many friends over this past year. Worst thing is I lost all my close friends that consider me their best friend. I suck at this friendship thing I admit it. But you can't say I didn't try. Maybe in your view I didn't try hard enough. Maybe I didn't do enough. I know I've changed a lot in this month alone. From what I heard you don't like it. But I really want to hear from you, saying it. Not through a messenger. When you put your point across it gets to me. I look up to you. I respect your decisions so if you just say it to me I promise I'll listen.

I have so much to say that I don't know how to put in words.

Labels: Best Friend